Book Club For Dummies
by Red Witch
Summary: Jean tries to get some members of the Brotherhood interested in reading. Good luck! She'll need it!


**The disclaimer saying that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters is off reading a book somewhere. Just another one shot filled with madness. **

**Book Club For Dummies**

"Okay let's get this book club underway!" Todd said cheerfully. "Anybody bring a book?"

"I did!" Fred said.

"So did I!" Pyro nodded.

"What are you idiots doing?" Scott stormed up to the three Brotherhood members.

"We're having a book club meeting! The first Brotherhood Book Club!" Fred said cheerfully.

"Why?" Scott asked.

"To expand our minds," Pyro said. "I know that's an obvious line for a snappy remark but…"

"No, I mean why are you all having it **here?**" Scott asked. "In **our house?"**

They were all in the Institute living room, surrounded by chips, dips and other snacks. "Because the food is better," Fred said. "Duh!"

"Oh where is Wolverine and his sharp pointy claws when you **need** them?" Scott asked.

"Don't worry, Summers we got permission to be here," Todd said.

"It's true Scott," Jean walked in with a book. "The Professor had an idea to let them come over for a book club and I'm going to join them."

"Why? Did you lose a bet?" Scott asked.

"Scott this is a good way to promote better relations between our two teams," Jean said. "And it's good for the Brotherhood to expand their minds."

"**Their** minds?" Scott pointed. "Jean their brains are so empty you can already fill half of North Dakota in there!"

"Why only **half?**" Todd was insulted.

"Yeah we could get **all** of North Dakota in if we wanted to!" Fred protested.

"Scott if you're not going to help please leave," Jean gave him a look.

"All right! I know when I'm not wanted," Scott held up his hands.

"That will be a first," Fred remarked. Scott glared at him.

"Okay the book we chose for this week was Wednesdays With Willie," Jean sat down. "Anyone want to start? Toad what did you think of the book?"

"Oh I didn't read that book," Todd said. "I got the new Frog Facts Almanac and I chose that book to read."

"Really? I picked my cousin Beauregard's book about his time in New York City as a bike messenger/bike thief. It's called Gone With the Schwin," Fred said. "It's an autobiography."

"Well I picked…" Pyro began.

"Guys! You were all supposed to read the book I picked out last week when I called you!" Jean said. "This book!"

"Wait we were all supposed to read the **same book**?" Fred blinked.

"Is that **normal?"** Todd asked.

"On second thought I will stay and watch," Scott smirked as he sat down on a chair nearby. "This should be fun."

"Okay obviously there was a bit of a miscommunication," Jean sighed. "Maybe we should talk about a book we've all read. Any book. How about A Tale of Two Cities?"

"Is that the book chronicling the rivalry between the Red Sox and the Yankees?" Todd asked. "Cause that was pretty good. What I read of it. Well the pictures were nice anyway."

"Let's try this **again,"** Jean sighed. "How about Lord of the Flies?"

"Sounds like Toad's dinner menu," Pyro snickered.

"Sounds tasty," Todd licked his lips.

"Come on, how about we discuss a book you all once read for school?" Jean suggested. "Any book?"

"Jean take a look around here," Fred gave her a look. "Do you think any of us actually read a book **assigned** to us? Have you seen our grades? I think not."

"He's got you there Jean," Scott snickered.

"Shut up Scott!" Jean snapped.

"Well you gotta admit that was a pretty dumb question," Scott said.

"Yeah and she's supposed to be the smart one," Fred agreed.

"Oh I know! How about A Fish Called Wanda! I read that!" Todd said.

"Toad that was a **movie!**" Jean groaned.

"Yeah but they also wrote a book based on it," Todd said. "You know a movie novelization. That's a book. Technically."

"They did write it very well," Pyro remarked. "Can really hear John Cleese's accent in my head. Then again I always hear his voice in my head."

"I don't think so," Jean groaned. "_Anyone else_ have any ideas?"

"Does TV Guide count as a book?" Fred asked.

"No, Blob that's a **magazine**," Pyro rolled his eyes.

"I know but we all read it," Fred said. "I mean who has never read a TV Guide?"

"He's got a point," Todd nodded.

"We are **not** going to sit around talking about TV Guide!" Jean said.

"How about the Adventures Of Hunk Man?" Fred asked. "That last issue was really good!"

"Yeah it was full of symbolism!" Pyro said. "Anyone else here think that the evil villain Doctor Malicious' secret lair is in his closet?"

"I was thinking the same thing!" Todd said.

"Oh so now it's a **comic book** club," Scott said cheerfully. "That does seem to be more your style."

"Scott!" Jean fumed.

"I mean seriously!" Pyro said. "The guy had Hunk Man chained up, half naked and bent over so he could stick his Evil Warp Probe right up his…"

"ENOUGH!" Jean shouted. "No comic books!"

"What about graphic novels?" Todd asked.

"That too!" Jean said. "Just books! Regular books! There has to be one book you have all read! Just **one!**"

"Hey wait! There is a book we all read! One of Pyro's books!" Todd said.

"Pyro's books?" Jean asked.

"Pyro's an author," Fred explained. "Writes under a different dame."

"Dame Gertrude Periwinkle is only one of my many pseudonyms," Pyro smiled as he took out a book. "This is my latest one. Vampire Love Fest In Peoria."

"You gotta read it. It's good!" Todd nodded.

"Let me see," Jean took it and read a passage. "Desdemona felt her undead skin shiver as Detective Marks and Doctor Albus kissed her alabaster skin then…OH MY GOD!"

"What?" Scott asked. He took the book from Jean. "Whoa!"

"Gripping, isn't it?" Pyro grinned.

"Holy cow…" Scott's jaw dropped as he kept reading. "Wow Pyro you certainly have **some **imagination that's for sure."

"Unbelievable," Jean was disgusted.

"Isn't it? And I've had no formal training," Pyro said proudly.

"Hey that's what we should do!" Fred said. "Every week we read one of Pyro's books and talk about it!"

"That's a great idea! What do you say?" Todd asked.

"Can I join your book club?" Scott asked.

"THAT'S IT!" Jean shouted and started using her telekinesis to throw objects at all the guys. "GET OUT! OUT! OUT! YOU TOO SCOTT!"

"Wow, thrown out of the house by my own girlfriend twice in one year! That's gotta be some kind of record!" Scott ran for his life.

"That's nothing! My cousin Bert…" Fred began.

"Later Blob!" Todd shouted as he dodged a heavy book. "Man some people don't appreciate great literature!"


End file.
